Epiphany of trust

So there's a classic lesson about love, so common that it's almost cliche...but it's a lesson many have yet to learn. Say it with me, as we've all heard it: love is a verb, an action. Not just an emotion.

What struck me all of a sudden like an epiphany last night is that the same is true of trust. You can tell someone, as I told God on Sunday, that you trust them. So why did He repeat Himself? Because we were talking about two different kinds of trust.* The way I said it meant a general trust, an acknowledgment of His trustworthiness. What He asked of me was the action: "TRUST Me." As with love, actions speak louder than words when it comes to trust. Saying it is one thing... But putting action to it is different. It's about putting your money where your mouth is. It doesn't just mean trusting that He has a plan in the circumstances of your life (although that's certainly a part of it), it means trusting Him to bring glory to His name through the actions He asks of you, even when those actions don't make sense to you. It means doing something you otherwise wouldn't, trusting Him with the outcome, and being amazed and completely in love as you watch Him work and transform lives, whether you personally see the fruits of your trust or not.

Trust, like love, is a very powerful word. It's severely underrated almost universally. And yet, why? What marriage works and thrives without trust? What good are friends who don't trust each other? Trust is something we take for granted, and drives many aspects of our lives, even the ones where love is irrelevant. I get directions to a new place from Google... That has nothing to do with love, but I have to trust in the information I receive, enough to change my actions because of it. We trust in many things without realizing it. 

And sometimes we tell God we trust Him, but we aren't ready to change our actions for Him and His instructions.

So He said, "Trust Me." With my actions, with my activities, my finances, my career, with my life.

Let's do this.

Whatever "this" turns out to be.

*As a side note, the same thing happened in John 21:15-17, but with love. It's tougher to pick up in English, but it stands out in the original language, as our pastor pointed out a few months ago. Jesus asked Peter if he loves [agape] Him, Peter responded "Lord, You know I love [phileo] You." Agape is an unconditional godly love, while phileo is a casual, platonic good-buddies kind of "love" that means little more than friendship. Peter, whether he realized it or did it subconsciously, wasn't answering Jesus' question. Jesus asked again, emphasizing agape until Peter got the point. The above conversation with Him asking me to trust Him, I believe, was no different.

I like obvious.

We guys are pretty lousy at seeing subtle signals sometimes, whether from women or from God. Which is why I had to just laugh when God decided to just be obvious.

But let me back up a little, back to Sunday. I nearly always visit a friend's house on Sunday after church. So, after my prayer adventure during church, I was on my way to said house when God prodded me again.

Go to Lifeway.

But...? They're closed today...

...

Okay. Going to Lifeway.

I headed for Lifeway at the Parks mall, which is relatively on the way. As I expected, closed.

Drive up to the building. To the front window.

So I do, and as I get closer it becomes even more obvious how closed they are. But I also start noticing signs in the window. None of them really jump out at me, except one that says "Bible studies for life." Hmm, is this what He wanted me seeing?

Maybe it's a good thing I went when they were closed, actually. Otherwise I'd have been preoccupied with finding a parking spot, getting inside out of the heat, picking out a Bible (oh yeah, I haven't been able to find my physical Bible for a long time, and that's something else God prodded me about), and leaving without ever seeing the signs in the window.

So the next day, Monday, I came back after work, and asked about that sign, whether that was for a specific product. Yeah, apparently it's this whole line of Bible studies by Lifeway. Ok, cool. So I'm looking at this line of products, wondering what it is God is trying to point me towards.

I mean, nothing's really jumping out at me. One on dealing with stress in life here... One about difficulties of marriage there... I'm looking at a couple and silently praying,

God, what are you wanting me to pick up here? I'm not stressed or married... I'm just a guy who wants to know his God and hear Him speak His good and perfect will.

The moment I thought that, I looked up from the one in my hand, and saw, plain as day, a Bible study called "THE GOD WHO SPEAKS."

Done! I laughed and picked it up. Thank You, God, for being obvious! Sometimes I really need that!

Why am I making a blog?

I really am not sure what's come over me to make me decide to make a blog. I hate blogs. I make fun of bloggers. Blogs are a dime a dozen, full of posts that would sometimes take over an hour to read, and as the meme goes, "ain't nobody got time for that!"

But here I am, and here's why. I love my God. He inspires me, and that's something worth keeping, worth writing about. It doesn't need to be for others to see and read and comment "Hey, great post!" This is here for me. For me to see, read, and remember what He's done in my life. And if it inspires someone else, great.

Speaking of inspiring others, I should mention one of my friends, a missionary who recently got back from a major mission trip. I find myself inspired by, and admittedly, sometimes jealous of her relationship with God. On her blog (one of the few I DO read), she tells about her prayer life among other things. Two-way conversations with God, interacting with Him in a way that too few ever experience. I've wanted that. Today, I think I experienced a bit of that as the Lord showed me things He wants me to know, and I want more of that. And I know He has so much more for me.

During church this morning, our pastor spoke of Jesus being the True Vine. He explained what seemed to be an incorrect translation of John 15:2.

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes  so that it will be even more fruitful.

The first part of this verse sounds pretty foreboding. Cut off? Is this talking about losing salvation, or not being a true believer? No. The same word used here, which has been translated "cut off" or "take away," is used in several other places in Scripture and translated as "take UP," such as "take up My yoke" or "take up your cross and follow Me." It refers to taking up an unhealthy vine in winemaking, a process by which an unhealthy, non-producing vine is restored, cleansed, and made to bear fruit.

That's when it happened, clear as a bell.

Close your eyes.

Wait, what? But I'm running the screens here!

Yes, they're fine. Close your eyes.

I didn't argue again. I closed my eyes.

Immediately, I saw with my eyes closed a vine, laying on the ground. It was...living, but barren. Plain, and unremarkable. No grapes in sight. A hand reached down and picked it up, exposing its underside. I wanted to vomit. It looked like an infestation. It was infected and thousands of tiny bugs crawled all over it.

It's like a wound. It can be healed, but disinfecting it will sting. It will hurt. And, the healing will take time. But don't give up. Now, open your eyes.

This time, I didn't need to be told again. I know nobody's perfect, but this made me sick. I wanted to DO something! Then, an interesting point came up in the message. The pastor explained that we often think of obedience to God as a passive thing. I hadn't thought about that before, but it makes sense. Too often, we equate obedience with a bunch of "don'ts." A bunch of rules. After all, that's how we obeyed our parents as kids, right? By NOT doing what we wanted. But obedience to God isn't passive, it's active. We obey God by doing what He wants, not just by avoiding the things He doesn't want us to do.

So, what's the plan then, God? What do You want me doing?

Trust Me.

I do trust You.

Trust Me.

I glanced in the direction where my missionary friend was seated, remembering some posts of hers.

Alright, God... As she would say... Let's do this.

I want Him to lead me into what He has for me. Knowing Him, that would likely be something way outside of my comfort zone. But the truth (hard and scary as it may be) is, that's the only way life should be lived. In your comfort zone, you don't need to rely on Him -- or I should say, you get lured into a false sense of security, thinking you don't need to rely on Him. But outside of it, He's all you have. And that's when you realize, more than at any other time, that He's all you need.